2003 was a good year, with lots of close racing, and lots of fun as well. Here ScottishClubRacing.co.uk takes a look at the more humorous side of the racing, with some "alternative" awards for the year.

Royal Navy Award for modifying an Aircraft Carrier for use on land - Richard Carr for preparing his jumbo sized Daimler Soverign for use in the Saloons and Sportscars. This beast was the talk of the paddock during the September 14th meeting in which it made its only appearance of the year, and despite being a long way off the pace, it was a winner on sheer entertainment value alone. Mr Carr, we salute you - please bring out more mad creations to play in 2004!

Nick Sanderson impersonator award - Duncan Vincent. His Formula Ford Zetec machine leaned heavily on the turquoise inspiration of Sanderson's XR2 and could be spotted a mile off. Vincent isn't planning to return to the FFord scene in 2004 but whatever he does, he'd be brave to copy Sanderson's colour scheme again seeing as NS-R plan to field the XR2 in a bright shade of orange in 2004...

Zanussi "Tumble Drier" award - Ronnie Klos. Ronnie gained an unfortunate reputation in the new Scottish Mini Series in 2004, becoming known for having some of the biggest accidents around. In true Colin McRae style, if he was going to crash then he usually did so in spectacular fashion with a roll or two thrown in for good measure.

Most popular paddock character - Gerard McCosh's pig. Universally known as "The Pig", it's unknown if everyone's cuddly favourite has a name but it usually could be found attached to any car Gerard happened to be piloting. Come rain (soggy pig) or shine (roasted pig) the faithful porker was to be seen hanging for dear life onto the back of McCosh's yellow Legend with its legs flapping in the breeze. I'm willing to bet money that it's enjoying a winter break away from the track.

Weapons of Mass Destruction Award - The XR2 field of 2003 for a very destructive season. The XR2s may be getting on a bit but that's no reason for the field to start using them as Stock Hatches. The amount of heavy incidents in the series in 2003 had to be seen to be believed and almost all the runners came away with severe damage at some point during the season - good examples being the state of the cars of Nick Sanderson, Richard Reed, Barry Holmes and especially John Findlay by seasons end.

The John West award for best impression of a Norwegian Whaler's Harpoon gun - Ross Marshall. A newcomer to the series, John's son seemed to forget to brake into the hairpin in the April 27th race and the result was Ian Mackie coming away from the meeting with a distinctly banana shaped car which needed a good bit of TLC before the next meeting.

The "Colours don't look quite so bright on the Islands" award - Ali Thom's Legend. Maybe the light on Orkney is different, but in the light of Knockhill, the various pastel shades of Ali's car had something of an "eek" factor. One thing that can't be denied is that the car is distinctive and that's surely the point.

The Michael Fish award - Knockhill and the surrounding area for an amazingly dry year. It's a somewhat overstated assumption by visitors from South of the Border that it's going to rain at Knockhill, but in reality it rains just as much at Brands Hatch. This season, with the exception of a couple of brief showers, there was no significant rain during any of the SMRC events and that has to be some sort of record.

The "Brake Pedal, what's that?" award - Lance Gauld for his continual use of outside late braking tactics at the hairpin. Lance became a master of this move, sometimes passing two or three cars on route to the finish line. Drivers never seemed to learn that covering the inside line counted for nothing when Lance was behind them - he just went to the outside and passed them there instead!

The "Once is bad luck, but twice....?" award - Stuart Thorburn. A misjudged tap on entry to the hairpin at the April 27th meeting saw Thorburn turn his Graham Brunton team-mate Alan Kirkaldy around, visibly angering the 2002 Champion. So guess how Alan must have felt when an outside overtaking manouvere at the hairpin at the September 14th meeting by Thorburn resulted in more contact and the end of the race for both of them...

The Howlin' Mad Murdock Award - Whoever made the questionable Formula Ford decisions all season. Officials made some extremely strange decisions regarding the Formula Fords during the 2003 season, especially the "line cutting" thing which I wont go into here but which can be viewed, warts and all, in our forums. The declaring wet races as dry was also an extremely disturbing occurance.

The Johnny Herbert bad luck award - Nick Sanderson. After a very promising 2002 season in which he finished sixth in the standings, Sanderson looked as though he was going to continue the step up in 2003. However, numerous incidents and scrapes through the season meant he suffered a number of DNFs, culminating in a monstrous accident with John Findlay and Peter Cruickshank which finished his car for the year with one round of the year to go. He'll be hoping for far better in 2004.

The Environmental Disaster award - Alex Knight suffered the biggest mechanical failure a Legend has ever had at the June 22nd meeting which led to him coating the hairpin and pit straight in oil. Legends which then encountered the slick proceeded to leave the track in all directions before the race was called to a halt and the world's supply of cement dust could be placed on the track surface.

The Commentators Nightmare Award - Jim Clarke, Jamie Clarke, Macolm Clark, Daniel Clark (and Clark Corner!) - all in the Legends so all on track at once... Add to that the Clarke pair and Malcolm Clark could usually be found at the front of the field and had mostly black cars....

The "Why did I bother? Time to hibernate for the Winter" award - John Findlay. It all looked so good - having run his old XR2 for a few years, he got a brand spanking new car in time for mid season, but suffered a disappointing debut - losing a wheel and bursting its fuel tank on it's first outing. That was nothing compared to the fact it got crushed like a tin can at the Sept 14 meeting, ending his season.

The "Only Legends can go through the hairpin 3-wide" award - Ian Cowie, George Brewster and Andrew Smith were amongst a number of drivers who did the Caterham Series a power of good in 2003 with some great battles, none more so than their three wide move through the hairpin during the August 10th meeting.

The "Don't talk to me, I'm having a bad day" award - Duncan Vincent at the August 10th meeting. Earlier in the day, parts of his car were run over and had to be taped onto the car. Later, other parts were set on fire and copious amounts of fire extinguisher foam was required. Let's add to that with a big accident at the hairpin during the race with Sarah Playfair, followed by an announcement across the paddock for him to report to the Stewards Office at the end of the meeting...

The "Jurassic Park" Award - Ian Forrest for winning Championships in his 20's, 30's, 40's and now 50's! Ian's been around longer than most people can remember, yet he waltzed back into XR2s at the start of the 2003 season and proceeded to beat his son to the title. Don't let the zimmer frame he was given at the last event fool you either - the father and son pairing are reported to be looking into the brand new SCV8 series which is due to roll into Knockhill in September.